The Fifth Element
by Eggbert
Summary: Percy has a new obsession. Oliver wonders if the man he loves is going slightly nuts...*warning - slashy themes*


THE FIFTH ELEMENT  
  
Summary: Percy's got a new obsession, Oliver wonders if the man he loves is going slightly nuts...  
  
Rating: PG-13 for a smooch or two.  
  
Archive: Word...Goes With Everything, anyone else can have it, just let me know where.  
  
Spoilers: None whatsoever.  
  
Disclaimer: They're not mine, they're JKR's. No offence to her genius is intended and my only profit is that someone somewhere might enjoy it.  
  
A/N: I'm not really that clued up on Feng Shui so anything that doesn't ring true is entirely my fault.  
  
Warning: This is a slashy story. Percy and Oliver are in a loving, long-term relationship. If this worries you, get over it.  
  
Dedication: To Zyre. Hopefully this one might make you smile.  
  
  
  
Oliver returned from a hectic day's practice. The team was getting ready for the last game of the season and their prospects had never looked better for clinching the League Cup. And, even better, he was coming home to Percy.  
  
Percy had just returned from a tour of China and had been suffering from serious Portkey-lag so Oliver had left him sleeping that morning.  
  
Inside the tiny Diagon Alley flat, Oliver dumped his kitbag and broomstick in the hall and hung up his jacket. He sniffed the air. What was that weird smell? It couldn't be...incense?  
  
In the living room Percy was standing with his hands on his hips as he surveyed his handiwork. He had his sleeves rolled up and a light smattering of dust on his fiery red hair had aged him by about twenty years. Oliver moved closer to his love and kissed him gently. Percy responded with less than his usual enthusiasm, in fact he seemed distracted.  
  
Oliver finally took in the state of his living room and gasped.  
  
" Perce, what have you //done//? "  
  
Percy smiled at his lover.  
  
" It's called Feng Shui. " he explained. " It's all about cosmic harmony and the balance of //chi//. I learned a lot about it in China and thought it'd be nice to try it here. Of course, we'll need to decorate. All these dark colours..."  
  
Oliver looked around him, horrified. His pile of back copies of Which Broomstick were gone, his favourite chair had been moved to a completely incongruous position, the awards he had won in his Quidditch career were gone from the mantelpiece and the incense that was burning was beginning to seriously aggravate his hayfever.  
  
" It's much better like this, don't you think? " asked Percy anxiously.  
  
" Frankly, no. " said Oliver. " But we'll give it a try. Those old Chinese wizards knew a thing or two about kick-ass magic. It might even work. " Then his eye was caught by a large glass bowl in the centre of the table.  
  
" Where did he come from? " asked Oliver. He was a tiny fish, no bigger than the first joint of Oliver's finger, which was swimming happily in the bowl. He was pure gold in colour and resembled nothing more than a tiny blob with eyes and long fins.  
  
" Fish are important. " said Percy. " You're supposed to have seven and one of them is supposed to be black so it can absorb all the negative //chi//."  
  
" Unlucky for him. " said Oliver absently, watching the tiny creature who was completely happy in his environment. " Though seven's a bit much. "  
  
" His name is Miko. " said Percy.  
  
" I dunno, he looks more like a Snitch to me. "  
  
Percy sighed. He knew that the tiny creature, which was nibbling at his castle in the faint hope that it had become edible, was now irrevocably named Snitch.  
  
" Don't you //ever// think about anything other than Quidditch? " asked Percy archly.  
  
Oliver grinned and pulled him close.  
  
" //One// other thing. Why don't you show me what you've done to the bedroom? "  
  
Percy gasped as Oliver's warm hand slid inside his shirt to gently caress his skin.  
  
" Or will that disturb the cosmic harmony? "  
  
"Not bloody likely." said Percy, grinning and took his lover's straying hand and led him to the bedroom.  
  
" Why on earth have you got the bed at a 90 degree angle? " asked Oliver.  
  
" It's pointing due north. " Percy explained. " Kirley McCormack of the Weird Sisters has his bed like this. I read it somewhere. "  
  
" Won't make any difference. " said Oliver amiably. " You still won't be able to play the guitar in the morning. Percy, are you sure this isn't all a bit, well, strange for you? I mean, you're not under too much pressure at work or anything, are you? "  
  
Percy stepped in and slid his arms around Oliver's neck.  
  
" No. " he breathed. " It's all about the balance of five elements. Air. " He gestured to the open window. " Fire, the insence, Earth is the new plants, water is Snitch's bowl and the last element is the one I can't live without. "  
  
" What's that? " asked Oliver. Percy's closeness and warm breath on his neck was having a definite effect.  
  
" Wood. " replied Percy, sealing Oliver's lips with his. 


End file.
